Jokes

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "U will go to jail".
Sardar gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, and sits on the branch
regularly. A man asks why are you doing this.
Sardar: "I h've been promoted as branch manager."


Sardar: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y did'nt U Exchanged?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody 2 exchange in the lower
Berth..


A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use
a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because
we have to repeat everything to men. The husband then turned to his wife and asked,

"What?"


A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100."
The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time,
but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."

Manager asked to man at an interview:
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Man replied: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.

I'm worried about you always being at the bottom of your class," said the father to his son.
"Don't worry Dad," he replied. "They still teach the same thing at both ends."

********

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

*********

A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him." Asked the friend. The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire".

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to see him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can't believe my eyes!" he said. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen." "Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three out of five games."

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