You Think English is Easy???

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was
time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?



Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant,
nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins
weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are
candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.



We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat
chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?



You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house
can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out
and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.



English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That
is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are
out, they are invisible. You lovers of the English language might also enjoy
this: There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any
other two-letter word.


That is 'UP.' It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the
top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a
meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the
officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a
report? We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish
UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP
the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word
has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work
UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be
dressed UP is special. And this UP is confusing: A drain must be Opened UP
because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it
UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed-UP about UP! To be knowledgeable
about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a
desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4thof the page and can add UP to
about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a
list of the many Ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if
you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens
to rain, we say it is clouding UP When the sun comes out we say it is
clearing UP .When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .One could go on and on, but
I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP ,so... time to shut-UP!_

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