If The Rand Corporation made toasters...
It would be a large, perfectly smooth and seamless black cube. Every
morning there would be a piece of toast on top of it. Their service
department would have an unlisted phone number, and the blueprints
for the box would be highly classified government documents. The XFiles
would have an episode about it.
If the NSA made toasters...
Your toaster would have a secret trap door that only the NSA could
access in case they needed to get at your toast for reasons of national
If Sony made toasters...
The ToastMan, which would be barely larger than the single piece of
bread it is meant to toast, can be conveniently attached to your belt.
If Timex made toasters...
They would be cheap and small quartz-crystal wrist toasters that take a
licking and keep on toasting.
If Fisher Price made toasters...
"Baby's First Toaster" would have a hand-crank that you turn to toast
the bread that pops up like a Jack-in-the-box.