The Consultant

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a
brand-new BMW drives up in a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban
sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd: "If
I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give
me one?"

The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers: "Sure. Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects
it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where
he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his
location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the
area in an ultra high resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image
has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel
spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas.

He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a
few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the shepherd and
says: "You have exactly 1586 sheep."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep." says the

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused
as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the shepherd says to the young man: "Hey, if I can tell you exactly
what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says: "Okay, why

"You're a consultant." says the shepherd. "Wow! That's correct," says
the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required", answered the shepherd. "You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know crap about my
business... Now give me back my dog."

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