BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn’t heavy.
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring?
BOY : Sure, what’s your phone number?
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don’t you ever want to improve?
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I’m wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I’m pretty. Andy says I’m ugly.What do you think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you’re pretty ugly.
WAITER : "Would you like your coffee black?"
CUSTOMER : "What other colours do you have ?"
TOM : "How should I convey the news to my father that I’ve failed?"
DAVID : "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year’s performance repeated".